Today, my bro Ajie who had been admitted a few days for being Covid + at Hospital Tengku Bainun Ipoh , has been transferred to ICU for full oxygen blast.
I am hopeful that he will recover, though it will take some time, anyway, that is all we have.. hope and prayers.
I thought about a lot things to do ... did not do much work, though I did do some chores here and there. All the thoughts zipping up in my head, was around this big idea "Where do you want to end up?", and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results ... and no Einstein did not say it (proof here)
Am questioning a lot of the business stuff I am doing right now ... where am I going? Gotta do a lot of soul searching ... especially with fx ... maybe am banging my head against the wall ... since 2007 tu ...
Sept October November December -- 2021 --- these are the crucial months for the new direction ...
Business-wise ..maybe am have been wrong ... all this while since 2007 ...
again the question in the back of my mind, where do I want to go? and what I am doing is getting me there ...
"Without developing a clear vision of the future we desire, of the values we want to adopt, of the identities we want to shed or step into—we are forever doomed to repeat the failures of our past. "
Today has been a reflecting day for me. Hmm, now and future ... work, biz trade, ... in the end, where do I want to end up ... haven't done a real look at this for a while ...
Today's BSG Mental Model session woke me up a bit ... a business rethink is in order as well ...
Today, I did ok .. practising focus on the work that needs to be done. Gotta admit the monkey in the mind was there at all times ... but so far so good, in taming the monkey, and doing what I need to do.
Hari ni sambil going along ... doing a reflection of the past ... and yg bagus is bila I feel envy.. I ask myself ... reflect ... and it is obvious ... what they are doing now is what I could have been ... *sigh* .. yep that is it ... itulah barah yg selama ini dalam diri ...
I spent the present looking back and sacrificed the future most of the time ... I can do better ... I must do better .. I will do better...
Where Do U Want To Be ... and more importantly, bagaimana nak sampai ke sana?
As am reflecting on stuff these past few days, I see a couple of things in a new light. One for certain is am not sure what is the path that am really going. Ask me about five years from now and I am like... Giving you vague answers. I don't know the answer, and now it's clear. I have been on autopilot for a long while coz I keep looking at the past, and thinking about every obstacle ten miles down the road. Copied that from Good Will Hunting :p
It is ok. When you know that you don't know, then it's possible to search for the answers.
Sebab aku tak reflect the pain that I went through. In denial. So no progress. Terkejut oleh realisasi ini bila join hari pertama BSG oleh Bukhari Ramli.
I screwed up big time today at work. An error from last sem came to roost. *sigh* it is really time to go.. it was another sign that the end of my academia career at INTI should be now, not later.
The sooner I leave, the sooner I can start my new beginning? Hmm.. see la how next few days is ... but whatever it is, I am at peace with what's coming ...
When you do the work and grind, and do a lot of reflection ... light will appear .. syukur2 ... now keep working on it I must ....
Yeah, 2022 will be different ... I gotta work till I get there ....
celebrate Messi goes to PSG :)
PS/- am not lompat ke PSG just because Messi joined PSG ... been a fan since the Rai - Opel days ... Ronaldinho and Pauleta used to play for PSG ok ...
When doing something without a clear and focused mental picture, it will not occur or it does not get accomplished much. That is what happened these past 2 days - Sabtu dan Ahad.
I am gaining wisdom.
ya loh
ps/ one of my last memories while on US soil (1995) was watching GMA with him performing this song accompanied by a piano. This song was Jon's last Top 40 hit single
How do you chart a new path? This question has been playing in the background for a while. Am not BSing, I am plotting a new path .. but, there is a lot of possibilities ... I think am feeling a bit of analysis paralysis. Nak tak nak ... mesti lakukan juga, sebab tak mahu fikir apa yang tidak dibuat lima tahun lepas....
I just have to do it. It is scary, but you just gotta do it. :P We lie to ourselves, most of the time. Kita nak buat sesuatu yang hasilnya ada 100% pasti positif untuk kita. Tapi, kalau kita tidak tahu akhirnya, atau ia samar2 bagaimana? .. hmm... always a dilemma ... tp mahu berubah/beralih arah ... mesti ubah arah dulu kan?
Ingatkan DITN preboard dah settle .. life goes on ... nope, that ICT stuff still happens ... Angry and mad? of course ... but, it sends me another signal ... just reinforce what I should do for the future. Pissed off yeah, but I dealt with it. Face it and move on ...
Selesai satu sesi pre-board hari ni ... esok satu lagi. When it's over I can dance :P What I am sure is I gotta keep the faith in the future, by doing the work in the NOW. Focus on that.
Man ... I had one of those brain decompress episodes ... settled all the marking work and finally felt ... relieved and dumb ... hahaha ... bila dah penat bekerja dan settle semua .. u feel like what a semester it was .. it is my 2nd last sem or final :P at KL ... learnt a lot, stress a lot :P ... and the signals were all over this sem ... am going to do a specific reflection this week, after the whole Pre-Board thing ... generally, I did an okay job ... 7 subjects this sem .. so it wasn't all daisy and sunshine ..
Pernah baca buku Andrew Matthews dulu. Dia kata, "Life sends us small signals to remind us if we are doing wrong ... if you keep ignoring it, in the end a big signal will be sent, when it will be too late to change " So far, I can say that this year, banyak signal2 kecil mcm ni telah muncul dan so far den dah ikut la .. bila ingat nak tukar fikiran tentang certain things, signal kecil muncul ... a reminder not to deviate ...
Masa borak dengan my bro Ajie tadi, ... dia kata dia ada plan utk 2022, and wa tanya, tak takut dengan mak lampir ke ... dia kata, "It's my life" ... cewah, terus wa teringat Dr Alban n Bon Jovi lagu dengan tajuk sama. Then I chose Dr Alban. :)
Ya betul .. it's my life ... so why I need to live other people's life?
The 20s are the foundation to your future ... if you are reading this, if you are in your 20s ... plan your future now! ... it will make sense in your later years ...
Hukum alam .... input + proces menghasilkan output ... jadi output adalah hasil input dan process. Kalau input dan proses sama, tapi mengharapkan hasil yang berlainan ... sorry la .. not gonna work ...
Ego, Pride and Humility mengikut kata Giannis Antetokoumpo, NBA Finals 2021 winner and MVP is so true ... tengok kat bawah ni ..
Azmir ... you have to do the work to get the results. It is not just planning, but also executing, and follow through. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results ...
How it works? Awak perlu buat. You gotta do. It has been tiring for the past few weeks with my work. The grind I guess ... I know I can do better, but cannot complain much.
The future ... still samar2 and am moving there ... whether I like it or not ... ;)
Malam tadi, join kejap majlis tahlil budak2 Jasin SPM 90 for a few covid-19 patients.
Saw some of the faces on that Meet, I got awashed a bit on nostalgia, but that is it. Abis je bacaan Yasin tu, I left. It is difficult to classify/clarify my Jasin years ... took me a while to really put it behind, and I must admit my 20s were really screwed up due to Jasin experience. In the end, it was my choice kan. So, I chose to leave after the Yasin, didn't want to chit-chat, etc.
Making peace with the past is really important. If not, it is like a ball of chain, dragging you to continuously behind. You don't have to like it. Just accept it.
Oleh itu, aku bersyukur. Bersyukur yang aku masih aku, dapat berjalan terus. Aku ada masa sekarang dan masa hadapan untuk dinikmati dan diusahai.
Mungkin apa sekarang yang den buat tidak bermanfaat? maybe I need to choose another way .. pilih jalan yang lain ... destinasi sama .. but another method.
Syukur I am still okay during this pandemic ni. Hearing the stories out there is scary ... :/
Yep, hari ini hari ulangtahun kahwin ke 15 den dan Linda. Syukur2 sangat ... so far so good, with 3 kids ... alright la kan ... 14 July 2006 tarikh nikah kami.. selepas Asar di rumah Linda di Bandar Baru Bangi
Kisah lama: Saya lambat ke majlis nikah, sebab terlupa bawa sampin, so terpaksa pi balik Templer untuk ambik balik. Saya yang last sampai ke rumah ... ahli rombongan lain dah sampai .. sampai tu, Mariati, my old friend, siap sapu bedak kt muka sebelum masuk ke rumah Linda. Hahahaha ...
Oh well ...
Happy Anniversary ke 15 awak ....
Lagu masa majlis perkahwinan belah saya di Templer
Aduh ... proses yg sepatutnya ringkas menghabiskan berjam2 den , sampai kacau semua kerja lain ... had to factory reset the hp a few times, .... and reinstall a few apps dan paling best ... lupa nak backup my WhatsApp rupanya ... abis .. so WA mmg start dari fresh balik ... aiyoo ...
Upgrade my Redmi 9 from Android 11 to Android 12 ... rupanya update2 ni things can happen ... lupa nak check my backup settings ... on the other hand ... a reboot perhaps ...
Lesson learnt ... before upgrade, check backup settings!
Nowadays, bila buat apa2, aku tidak menunggu lagi untuk semua pasti/perfect .. sebab it is never perfect. Teruskan sahaja, selepas merancang, kalau tidak ... ia akan menjadi rancangan sahaja tak abis2 ..
Give me just one more night ... lagu sedap Phil Collins ... in the end, if it was not meant to be ... no matter how many nights you have ... it is not meant to be ...
Tadi, baru je den buang dua baju tshirt lama .. sayang tapi dah berlubang2 ... old sentimental things ... jadi apa Ome buat? Ambil gambar benda2 tu, peluk kali terakhir dan campak ke plastik sampah.
Rasanya tu cara terbaik untuk let go benda2 lama ... so kita boleh terima benda baru ...
Dah belajar something new.
2 baju tersebut - beli kat Pertama Kompleks zaman bujang dulu utk Raya
Change is hard ... but it has to be done .... it is for the future.
Today was a significant change .. I left 2 WA group that consists of my relatives coz cannot tahan the words being passed around ... goodness grief ... mahu ingat baik2 saja ... if they want to keep in touch with me, they know how to find me.
Hidup ini berwarna-warni ... penuh dengan macam2 lalui ... apa yang berlaku ialah bagaimana kita respon kepada apa yang berlaku macam formula di bawah ...
Event + Response = Outcome
You think so?
Tajuk post ini merujuk kepada lagu Roxette 'Watercolors In The Rain' dari album Joyride. Selalu berlari adalah cat warna dalam hujan ... tidak menyelesaikan apa2 ... so face reality and deal with it.
Bila tiada idea, idea akan muncul ... :) I am not living in a box, I live luar kotak ... dan saya ada ruang dalam hati :) Ramit Sethi kata, enjoy the journey as well as the reward ... betul tu!
Buat kerja itu penting, tetapi cara buat kerja itu juga penting. Mengapa saya kata begitu, sebab banyak pembaikan dalam hidup saya kebelakangan sebab asas ini. I have been working hard, but didnt know why I did not get the results. Rupanya, mostly, it was not the effort, but it was the how to.
Suara beliau sedap and ada beberapa lagu yang sedap. Cuma, den geram sebab ada lagu2 balada dia .. lagu jenis putus harapan mengharap kind of songs ... I mean nice melodies, tp listen to the lyrics .. I am like, aiyo ... udah le tu ..
Here We Are
Can't Stay Away From You
Anything For You
Don't Wanna Lose You Now
Lagu sedap tapi ... liriknya ... :P
My favorite song of hers is below .. ha ni lagu best :) I see your smile
.. but my feet is still on the ground. Focus is on, and a good hint of results is trickling. I gotta keep my head down and keep the work. This work/hustle is for my future, especially mi familia.
Finally, cat is out of the bag with my ex-UCSI mates, that I am leaving INTI KL by end of this year. Actually, I am peace at it, as I know what my hustle is for 2022 and beyond. My main task is to make sure my 2022 hustle is on track for 2022 :)
Saya suka bola. I love football. Big fan of Liverpool FC. But, my health is more important. The lack of sleep and cacamarba of my sleep patterns watching the first 2 group rounds really brought me here. Anyway, I can record it in Astro anyway, and watch the highlights later.
I have my own compilation of Astro highlights here.
Most emotional match of the group stages for me - Denmark Russia
After what is happening these past few weeks ... yeah, another change is in the air ... especially relating to me ... new habits to adapt.. old habits to discard ...
I read this today and thought I should post it to my ex-students
---------------------------
By:
Akosua Boadi-Agyemang
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/akosuaba
Advice to the me of years passed:
1. Everything happens for a reason, so don’t worry about things - they work out for your good in line with your destiny. (Just remember faith without works is dead. Do your best and let God do the rest.)
2. What you study in school gives you more than just base skills in one area - you don’t have to be narrow and work only as an accountant because you studied accounting. Be open minded. You possess cross-functional skills.
3. Success and failure are not mutually exclusive. As you grow and succeed you will also learn a lot - brace yourself.
4. Don’t dwell on rejection. It’s redirection and for your protection.
5. Give yourself some grace - you don’t always have to have a plan or have things figured out - refer back to 1.
6. Not everyone will like you and that’s okay - you weren’t brought here to please everyone.
7. Never dim your light or play small to make others feel comfortable.
8. Listen more than you speak.
9. Stop being so apologetic. Especially, stop apologizing for things you had no hand in. Stop apologizing for other’s short comings - that’s one of the quickest way to become a scapegoat. (Always apologize where you were wrong.)
10. Revel in the moment - stop trying so hard to think about “what’s next” that you don’t enjoy the moments in all aspects of life. (Just don’t slip into complacency.)
Bonus: save your breath/reclaim your time, not everything is worth the argument or debate.
I didn’t turn out too bad - lol wish I worried less tho. 🥲
Once a while, my body tells me that I am not that young anymore, even though I feel young. And the strain of watching the first 2 rounds of Euro 2020 caught up yesterday and today. Luckily, most of the time I am still able to conduct my classes. But still, now, the sleep debt payback is here :P
I need to take care of the temple better.
I love this song ... makes me feel my age :P
PS/ I have another blog .. especially about my memories ... here.
Ahh ... it is here. Dah tiba. Syukur2 I am still alive :)
Current State : Happy and Grateful, with my wife and kids.
Work State : Di INTIKL sebagai pensyarah sehingga Dec 2021. INTIKL akan tutup hujung tahun ini dan setakat ini, tiada transfer ke mana-mana. Bulan 10, dapat surat bye2 katanya. Telah dipermudahkanNya untuk aku jalankan fasa seterusnya hidup.
Dulu2 masa umur 20an, aku terlalu rajin melihat ke belakang, especially in matters of the heart. All the couldas, shouldas, ... sampai aku tidak melihat masa sekarang dan masa depan.
Bila dengar lagu You're In Love oleh Wilson Phillips today, I finally get it and understood, why I am doing better now. I can let it go and focus on the present and future.
Sejak kebelakangan ini, dah beberapa bulan ini, akal den dah mula panjang. Sebab umur kot ... mungkin sebab pemikiran juga ... banyak perkara yang dulu tidak berapa den paham, now makes sense.
Kadang2 kita korbankan diri kita, harap menjadi lilin, mahu dikenang ... tapi kecewa bila tidak dihargai ... pengajaran klasik, doing something for recognition tends to lead to disappointment, .. do it kerana anda mahu buat, for your own sake.
Mahu menjadi hidup cogankata BRC ... "berilmu dan bermanfaat" ..
Dapat sijil komitmen di bawah. Okaylah, tapi belum tamat lagi .... akan saya teruskan.
Masa depan di INTIKL akan tamat December 2021. Yep, akan bernoktah. Pemberhentian secara dot dot dot ... in the end, you are just a number. Scary though bila tuan besar datang dari Tanah Besar China.
Yeah, sudah 2 minggu beliau pergi ... his passing still reminds me of my inner self ... which is slowly coming out ...
Reminds me of this dialogue from this corny teen flick 'Down To You' starring Freddie Prinze and Julia Stiles ... " It is not the meaning of life, it is the feeling of life .... " clip below
Di bawah adalah senarai video lagu - lagu yang mengingatkan saya pada arwah ... bila membaca kisah arwah, dan kasih sayang keluarga angkatnya pada dia, these songs come to mind ...
One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey w/ Boyz II Men
Berjanji kita akan bertemu kembali nanti
Harum Subur Di Hati - Bumiputra Rockers
Terpisah selama - lamanya, damailah engkau di sana
Spice Girls - Goodbye -
Goodbye my friend, you always will be our baby
Izinkan ku Pergi - Kaer
... :/ kata Amer?
Waktu Yang Tepat Untuk Kita Berpisah - Sheila On 7
teringat wajah arwah Amir pada pertemuan akhir, semasa berdakap dengan Umie
The Days - Juliet The Orange
suatu hari nanti bertemu lagi ...
Di Pintu Syurga - KRU with Elite
Abadikanlah saat indah, kita tetap bersama...
Kenangan Terindah - Samsons
kenangan terindah arwah Amir dan keluarga angkat akan tetap abadi
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