Monday, October 27, 2014

Man In The Mirror

For the past few weeks, I have to admit that the dark moods that I had during my 20s are making a comeback. They don't stay long, but long enough to inflame the doubts in the mind. Doubts that come from the 'shoulda, woulda, couldas' ... it makes me incapable to think clearly and positively. The film of the past would furiously be playing in full HD and surround sound. And the background voice would repeating the same phrase over and over again ..."Tu la kau ... tu la kau ... orang lain dah berjaya.. kau camtu gak ..."

Especially, in the past month, I got into the habit of comparing my career to my childhood friends, school mates .. and most of the time, it was disheartening. Just looking at the potential I had in my 20s and how I threw it all away ... because I was moping, sulking about my Jasin and college years ...

then I saw the pattern ... that I spent my 30s sulking about my 20s ... and that is why I think my biz pursuit in my 30s did not go well.. I was busy chasing so many things that I lost focus ... now in my early 40s, I will not repeat the same behavior again.

Syukur, writing this post has helped me to clarify my muddled thoughts a bit ... in a sense, I am still a a work in process ... recovering and going to a better place ... I have to keep the faith that what I am doing right now will lead me to success for me and my family.

One thing for sure ... if you want to change for better, you have to ask the man in the mirror to change .. the man in the mirror knows you better .....

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Dalam Diri Ini Ada Naga

Pada masa saya kecil sehingga lewat remaja, saya selalu diperkecilkan, dipermain2kan dan diperlekehkan. Dan saya akan menjadi sangat marah. Perasaan marah itu seperti api yang membakar. Dan saya akan bungkuskan kemarahan itu dalam ais sejuk dan ia menjadi satu ketul ais. Sekian lama, ia menjadi timbunan ketul-ketul ais. Dan dalam ketulan-ketulan ais ini ada Naga.

Pada masa sekarang, kadang-kadang, bila rasa marah, saya boleh rasa kewujudan Naga ini, and it scares me to think what can happen if I let it take control ...

hiasan sahaja (imej dari Wikipedia)

Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Opposite Sex Best Friend Syndrome - The Reality

I hate the situation as described in blog post title above. Why? Been there, done that. Romantic movies / drama / sitcoms make it so cute but IT IS NOT! blah2, hopefully he/she will see you as a better partner than the current partner...uh uh, no it does not if rarely happens.

It does not work because no matter what you did or do .. he/she will never see past your gallant/good acts .. treating it just as an act of a best friend who is suppose to do that ... does it suck? yes... does it feel sucks? most definitely ... but if you make your move and get out .. the hurt will lessen in time and your life will be better ...

Get off the floor and believe in life .. there are other romantic opportunities where life goes on .. your life goes on, and that person's will go on (if not already).

One of my past situations involved this scenario. It was cute at first, then you realize that you are just the sounding board/feedback wall ... the couple still ends up together and you are left clutching nothing ...

and you are always the invisible man .. :P

dulu best la lagu ni ... bila dengar balik, rasa terkilan sebab dulu kita je asyik mengharap ....

Friday, October 10, 2014

Mengapa Dirindu?

Kepada rakan2 pembaca blog,

ingatlah ... bahawa masa lepas adalah masa lepas ... coulda, shoulda, woulda tidak akan memberi manfaat kecuali merebahkan dan melalaikan kita kepada masa sekarang dan masa akan datang ....

aduh, diri ini sudah tertipu dan sudah sedar .. doakan aku terus berdiri dan berlari ke hadapan .. Amin.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Discipline Itu Proses

Discipline must be done consistently. Kalau tidak, ia tidak akan menjadi. Betul? Focus pada proses dan hasilnya akan menjadi semula jadi. Pelajaran hidup baru.

Lagu rock klasik no 1 gue of all time ...

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

The Two Lessons From Insanity

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different result. That is insanity Lesson 1. Insanity Lesson 2-not learning and applying Insanity Lesson 1.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

I Saw Pet Shop Boys In Concert :)

Finally, they came down and a lifelong dream was achieved. No words needed. Just the pics, and even they don't do justice. A very musical experience.