Monday, October 27, 2014

Man In The Mirror

For the past few weeks, I have to admit that the dark moods that I had during my 20s are making a comeback. They don't stay long, but long enough to inflame the doubts in the mind. Doubts that come from the 'shoulda, woulda, couldas' ... it makes me incapable to think clearly and positively. The film of the past would furiously be playing in full HD and surround sound. And the background voice would repeating the same phrase over and over again ..."Tu la kau ... tu la kau ... orang lain dah berjaya.. kau camtu gak ..."

Especially, in the past month, I got into the habit of comparing my career to my childhood friends, school mates .. and most of the time, it was disheartening. Just looking at the potential I had in my 20s and how I threw it all away ... because I was moping, sulking about my Jasin and college years ...

then I saw the pattern ... that I spent my 30s sulking about my 20s ... and that is why I think my biz pursuit in my 30s did not go well.. I was busy chasing so many things that I lost focus ... now in my early 40s, I will not repeat the same behavior again.

Syukur, writing this post has helped me to clarify my muddled thoughts a bit ... in a sense, I am still a a work in process ... recovering and going to a better place ... I have to keep the faith that what I am doing right now will lead me to success for me and my family.

One thing for sure ... if you want to change for better, you have to ask the man in the mirror to change .. the man in the mirror knows you better .....