Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The Syawal Post

Ahh,, Raya is just around the corner ... a major celebration for most Muslims ... when I was a kid, it was a major, major thing ..but , bila dah jadi dewasa ni ...hmm, I guess the spark is not as much as I used to feel. Not to mean, I don't enjoy it , but tak segila2 dulu ;-P ..

Raya is a significant milestone .. it is one of the milestones, where I compare where I am now to where I was a year ago .. so at this moment, hmm.. there are some things that have remained the same .. there are things which have changed.. InsyaAllah, by Raya next year .. there will be some real changes .. " ..bergerak ke hadapan, bukan ke belakang .. "

To my readers,

S E L A M A T H A R I R A Y A A I D I L F I T R I

MAAF ZAHIR BATIN


Have Fun, Be Safe :-)

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Or Am I + A Test

Or am I Daniel Cleaver ? As I thought to myself, while eating my sahur earlier ?.... I read a recent post of this blog , whose author is currently in La La Land with the author of this blog. I followed and am following their exploits from his perspective and now, only recently, following hers too. I am not sure which type of man that I fall in, but I am pretty sure, it could be one of the latter categories …
Often, in the matters of the heart, it is not the actions of the person that you are attracted that make you go crazy, it is your own response to the their actions that do.

Consider this

11.00 pm – Boy calls girl for the first time, after weeks of messaging. Girl takes call, asking boy to call back after 20 mins. Girl says, she needs to shower.

11.20 pm – 1.30 am : Boy keeps calling girl, but only getting voicemail.

So what is the boy’s response ?

A – Aarghh …. Mcm2 la .. starts thinking bad thoughts .. she doesn’t want to talk to me ..bla bla ..

B – Hmm, so near so far … okay la .. what to do kan …

I am sure most people have gone through this, one way or another … I have … option A seems to be my favorite thing … and option A causes the most heartbreak …

So, I chose option B.. and … importantly, redha about it. What I did was I watched my music therapy ( LP + GNR November Rain ) as usual, when this occurrences happen, but this time I decided, it wasn’t worth it anymore. It wasn’t satisfying. A breakthrough …  … I am not saying that the problem is resolved yet, but the end is in the sight. A suggestion from Andrew Matthews , “ When you are attached to things, you tend to screw it up .. “ … you know what, it finally makes sense ;-) …

And all of this because of a flicker …

Update : 30th October 2005

.. but thanks to the flicker, my faith is restored ;-)

Friday, October 28, 2005

Mr Jones

The past few days, in between of studying and doing assignments …I had the pleasure of watching this movie and its sequel. With the trials and tribulations of the heart that I have been through for the past year, I nominate myself as the male equivalent of the lead character ;-)

Ever wish that once you can be a android, devoid of human emotions ? I remembered that I once wished I was Data ( from Star Trek : The Next Generation ) … due to the sole fact that emotions can either push you or pull you, depending on how it is handled. But, on the other hand, emotions is what makes us human eh …. The cruelest pain that one can inflict on another is not the pain of the physical kind, for the wounds may heal, but the pain of the emotional kind. Pain, that takes quite a while to heal and perhaps never heal at all.

It is this pain which I have carried so long .. and twisted as it may sound, at times, it is more comforting than the fear of unknown. When one lets go of the pain in the past, that is a whole new territory to explore, where fear of the unknown takes into effect. I have been jorneying to the unknown for the past year, inch by inch, step by step. And at times, there is a tendency for me to crawl into the comfortable shell, eyeing the world through wary and weary eyes.

It is through the assistance and guidance of people whom you know, love and trust, that you are able to make it through. It is aptly described below ….

“ A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities. - William Arthur Ward – “


It is my hope and wish, to you dear reader, that this post, out of the ordinary as it is, would spark you a little bit in living this life …. Most of the time, we go through the motions in living … but, if we stop once a while, and look around where we are .. we can change the motion..

I leave you with this excerpt from The Prophet – Khalil Gibran –


Reason & Passion

And the priestess spoke again and said:

"Speak to us of Reason and Passion."

And he answered saying:

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.

Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.

But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.

Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."

And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.


Rest In Reason & Move In Passion , my dear readers ;-)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Ramadhan Morning Thoughts

This morning .. between Sahur n Subuh prayers .. I did some thinking and resolution .. I wont say it here .. but, it is an ever improving process for me personally. The last few weeks have interesting ....

1) A few people close to me have given some feedback on my current life. Of course, it aint bed of roses, but I do appreciate the feedback. In a sense, it had confirmed in one way or another, what I knew I went through these past years. The light is appearing ... and the end of the tunnel is what I see now.

My thanks to Inn, Errol n my sis :-)

2) Remember that flicker ? It is now steadily illuminating .. honestly, I have been going through a see saw of emotions because of this flicker ...really, it is due to the stuff in the past. The demons were playing with me .. again, my best friend helped to make things clear ... and to a certain extent and credit, this flicker has been very patient ... and I am surprised by this positive development. One step at a time ... and I am moving forward. :-)

ps/ tu sbb previous post in French ;-)

2.1 ) Thanks to this program, I have been downloading songs like crazy ;-).. especially, classic stuff .. the song below is something I was looking for ages .. and syukur, I found it ! ;-)

HANDS TO HEAVEN - Breathe -

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving

Chorus:
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

Repeat Chorus

Morning has come,
I must pack my bags and say goodbye,
Goodbye

:-)

My last sentence for this post comes from this author... whose books I have read and re-read, inspires me daily :-) ..

" Life keeps giving you the same lessons until you have learned from it, made adjustments and move on ! "

later ...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Vous ce pourrait être

Vous ce pourrait être

Le temps, j'ai passé temps regarder les trains vont par
Toute ma vie
Couchant sur le sable regarde des oiseaux de mer volent
Souhaiter il pourrait y avoir quelqu'un
Attendant à la maison pour moi

Dire de quelque chose me vous ce pourrais être
Il me dit que vous ce pourrait être
toute ma vie

Regardant de retour comme les amants vont marcher le passé
toute ma vie se
Demandant comment ils ont rencontré et ce qu'il fait dure
Si j'ai trouvé l'endroit ferait je reconnais la face

Dire de quelque chose me vous ce pourrais être
Il me dit que vous ce pourrait être
tant de promenades calmes pour prendre
tant de rêves pour réveiller et il y a le si beaucoup d'amour pour faire

Je pense que nous sommes gonna a besoin de quelque temps
Peut-être tout nous avons besoin d'est le temps
Et il me dit que vous ce pourrait être
toute ma vie

J'ai épargné les chansons d'amour et les berceuses
Et il y a si beaucoup plus
personne jamais a entendu avant
que dire de quelque chose me vous ce pourrais être
Ouais, il me dit que vous ce doit être et
je me sens qu'il fera juste vous est
toute ma vie vous c'Est, vous c'est j'ai attendu toute ma vie
Peut-être vous c'est
Peut-être vous c'est
j'ai attendu toute ma vie.


A mon ami de dame : J'espère que ceci vous encourage en haut :-)

Friday, October 21, 2005

PM's wife R.I.P

Actually I want to blog abt some stuff .. but, nation takes precedence for once.

Pak Lah, my condolences on your wife's passing. Semoga perjuangan diteruskan !

That's what I wrote in the tribute page located here.

The news from Malaysian papers : -

1) NST.

Endon In Pictures courtesy of NST here.

2) Utusan Malaysia

3) The Star

The rest of it .. courtesy of Google News here

Al-Fatihah.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Keruan + G.O.L

Satu perkataan yang mencerminkan diri gue sehari dua ini. Tidak keruan.

Sebab apa ? … hmm…. I pride myself that I am more or less able to be on my own .. bak kata, depend on myself … tetapi, satu kehadiran sekrg yg membawa fenomena ..

Tanda – tanda

1. Selang beberapa minit terfikir tentangnya
2. Menunggu2 isyarat SMS masuk …
3. Berfikir sama ada mahu sms atau tidak …
4. Mahu menjaga ego seorang lelaki yet ...

Penyakit si mamat ni sudah berjangkit pada gue ke ? ….

Meanwhile, untuk menenangkan jiwa, gue mendengar lagu kumpulan ini .... an interesting form of self therapy .. actually to keep my expectations low ..

But then … I think I may be playing the game below …

"The Game Of Love" – Santana feat. Michelle Branch) –


Tell me just what you want me to be
One kiss and boom you're the only one for me
So please tell me why don't you come around no more
Cause right now I'm crying outside the door of your candy store

[Chorus:]
It just takes a little bit of this
A little bit of that
It started with a kiss
Now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs
A little bit of pain
I'm telling you, my babe
It's all in the game of love

This, whatever you make it to be
Sunshine set on this cold lonely sea
So please baby try and use me for what I'm good for
It ain't sayin' goodbye that's knocking down the door of your candy store

[Chorus]
It's all in this game of love
You roll me
Control me
Console me
Please hold me
You guide me
Divide me
Into what...

[Guitar solo]
Make me feel good, yeah

So please tell me why don't you come around no more
Cause right now I'm dying outside the door of your loving store

[Repeat Chorus]

It's all in this game of love
It's all in the game of love
Yeah, in the game of love

Roll me
Control me
Please hold me
(make me feel good, yeah)


update : Pet, redha aja ..

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Weekend Review + Flicker

The weekend was tiring but interesting. Tiring due to my schoolwork .. it’s the last few weeks and stuff due is just piling ion.. pening kepala den ;-) But, despite all that, syukur that I am still maintaining my sanity … he he …

I met a good friend last weekend .. and was happy to meet her .. felt more comfortable .. and more natural .. J .. yeah, I am getting IT at last, and I am happy about it.

Something is flickering in the sky .. when it flickers for that moment, it warms my heart n brings me a smile …

In the end, it’s you choice on how to respond to it … and I am making good ones more than bad ones nowadays. Again, my thanks to my good friend.


This song below is getting me jumping at times .. nama kumpulan pun menarik eh ..


"Don't Cha" Pussycat Dolls (feat. Busta Rhymes)

[Busta Rhymes]
Ok (ahh)
Yeahh (ahh)
Oh, we about to get it just a lil hot and sweaty in this mu'f**ka (oh, baby)
Ladies let's go (uhh)
Soldiers let's go (dolls)
Let me talk to y'all and just you know
Give you a little situation... listen (fellas)

[Buster Rhymes]
Pussycat Dolls
Ya see this shit get hot
Everytime I come through when I step up in the spot (are you ready)
Make the place sizzle like a summertime cookout
Prowl for the best chick
Yes I'm on the lookout (lets dance)
Slow bangin shorty like a belly dancer with it
Smell good, pretty skin, so gangsta with it (oh, baby)
No tricks only diamonds under my sleeve
Gimme tha number
But make sure you call before you leave

[Pussycat Dolls]
I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around
She's all over you (she's all over you)
I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be fucking me (babe)

[Chorus:]
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it ain't love
It just aint enough to leave my happy home (my happy home)
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See I dont care
But I know She ain't gonna wanna share

[Chorus:]
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha

[Busta Rhymes]
Ok, I see how it's goin' down (ahh, don't cha)
Seems like shorty wanna little menage pop off or somethin, let's go
Well let me get straight to it
Every broad wan watch a nigga when I come through it
It's the god almighty, lookin all brand new
If shorty wanna jump in my ass then vanjewish
Lookin at me all like she really wanna do it
Tryna put it on me till my balls black an blueish
Ya wanna play wit ah playa girl then play on
Strip out the channel
And leave the lingerie on
Watch me and I'mma watch you at the same time
Lookin at ya wan break my back
You the very reason why I keep a pack ah the Magnum
An wit the wagon hit chu in the back of tha magnum
For the record, don't think it was somethin you did
Shorty all on me cuz it's hard to resist the kid
I got a idea that's dope for y'all
As y'all could get so I could hit the both of y'all

[Pussycat Dolls]
I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
So I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then old friend
Your secret is safe with me

[Chorus:]
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha
Don't cha

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Control ++ Kerja ?

1) Control

A blogger wrote that I had issues of control. I had she misunderstood what my control comment to her was. What I said was, " I am never going to let any woman control me again .. " .. it sounds rather harsh eh .. what I meant was, I was not going to let my emotions be overly swayed or influenced by women, to a point where I do stupid things.

There are lots of reason why I said that .. but, it first came out around July. Suffice to say, I was partially duped by a girl I fancied and when I ticked her off abt it .. she just laughed me off. It got me thinking right, .. when it comes to womenfolk, I have been played a lot .. and the lessons keep on repeating. So, I guess, that's where the control part came in. I am sorry that she misunderstood it.

Honestly, *sigh* .. when it comes to relationships and stuff like that, the heart rules the head more ya .. so nowadays, I tell my head to have more input on the matter and since that July .. it's improving ...

2) Swamped

Currently, I am a bit swamped with loads of study stuff due this month .. byknya kerja !

2.1 ) .. work ..

I am going back racing in the rat race after Raya ! .. interesting gig this time ;-) and maybe some new interesting makeovers ... hmm .. see la ye ...

3) Wilson Phillips

Anyone remember this trio ? ;-) .. in the flood of black singing girl groups, a WASP trio came out and sang themselves to the top. Cepat dia naik, cepat dia hilang .. I loved their songs from the their two albums. There were lovely pop tunes, and heartfelt lyrics .. I had their cassettes only and lost 'em .. lupa lak nak beli their CDs when I was in US. They were an important music part of my college years ..

A review of their selected albums are below

1) Wilson Phillips
2) Shadows and Lights

Their official website here.

Some of their videos here. ( ... bestnya !! )

I got the mp3 to this song from them a few days ago

"Don't Take Me Down"

'I love you girl' that's what you used to say
And that no one would ever take it away
I gave you all I had inside, baby it's alright

But then you took the love right from my heart
It's funny how things so strong can fall apart
I gave you all I had inside, baby it's alright, ooh

One day you'll wear out the lines you always use
Why do you say that you'll change when you never do?
I've always found a reason to let it slide...baby not this time.
Ooh, because I know where you're going from here
(Don't take me down with you)

[Chorus:]
Don't take me down (take me down with you...)
'Cause I don't need no one and no one's ever gonna bring me down.
Don't take me down (Don't take me down with you...)
And I don't need no one and no one's ever gonna bring me down.
You had someone; you had me to love.

Why do we put up all these fronts?
There's something about the way that you loved me once.
And why, why is it wrong to want it back again?

Oh no... one day you'll wear out the lines you always use
Why do you say that you'll change when you never do?
I've always found a reason to let it slide...baby not this time.
Ooh, because I know where you're going from here
(Don't take me down with you)

[Chorus]

Too many times, I've realized the truth
(don't take me down, don't take me down)
Too many times...
I've seen enough, I've seen it enough to know
This time you're not, you're not gonna take me down
Down, down, down, down .... yeah

[Chorus]

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Nickname N Her

1) Origin

Most of my good friends call me Pet. What's the story ? Well, the story is like this ...

" .. Arakian satu masa dahulu, di bumi Melaka, di pekan Jasin, adalah seorang cowok yang menjejak kakinya di situ, tanggal 1989. Menempuh alam baru, terpisah daripada keluarga tercinta .. saja nak tunjuk terrer ;-)..

Hidup beliau di maktab yg tersergam indah mencelikkan mata beliau pada realiti hidup .. no longer black and white, semuanya kelabu ala jerebu ...

Ketika makhluk2 maktab asyik dengan irama rock melayu dan tommy page ... cowok ini mendengar lagu geng ini. Warga2 bertanya kpd cowok .. weii mamat .. apa yg lu dengar ni ? .. cowok dengan lagak macho n cool berkata .. electropop .. sesungguhnya mereka tidak faham, lalu berkata .. mulai tika dan saat ini, dengan perintah yg asal usulnya taman rasyidah utama, yg penuh misteri mimpi syakilla, tak masuk lagi dengan fenomena, dan penuh penantian ... we call you Pet Shop Boy or Fat Short Boy !!

Dan bermulalah Hikayat Penuh Ranjau Pet .... "


Pet was the nickname and it stuck from then on ...

Imagine when I found out later that they were gay. Adakah Pet juga gay ? jeng jeng ...

Below is one of my fav songs from the group ;-)


Domino Dancing - Pet Shop Boys -

-----------------
(all day, all day)

I don't know why, I don't know how
I thought I loved you, but I'm not sure now
I've seen you look at strangers too many times
A love-you-once is of a, a different kind

Remember when we felt the sun
A love like paradise, how hot it burned
A threat of distant thunder, the sky was red
And when you walked, you always - turned every head

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing
(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing

I thought that when we fought I was to blame
But now I know you play a different game
I've watched you dance with danger, still wanting more
Add another number to the score

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing
(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing

When you look around you wonder
Do you play to win'
Or are you just a bad loser'

(all day, all day)
(all day, all day)

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day, domino dancing)

(all day, all day)
(all day, all day)

I don't know why, I don't know how
I'd thought I loved you, but I'm not sure now
I hear the thunder crashing, the sky is dark
And now a storm is breaking within my heart

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing
(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day, domino dancing)

(all day, all daeheheheheheheh)
(all day, all daeheheheheheheh)

(all day, all day)
(all day, all day)
(domino dancing)

(all day, all day)
(all day, all day)

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day, domino dancing)

(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day) domino dancing
(all day, all day) watch them all fall down
(all day, all day)


... To her : We may have more in common than I thought. Oh well ...

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tagged !!

Allo hombres .. I got tagged by this blogger who is a wonderful person in real life .. so dah kena nag dengan dia ;-p .. buat la juga benda di bawah ni.


Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1 - Perform the Hajj / visit the Holy Land
2 – Visit Anfield, home of Liverpool FC
3 - Go back to USA and chill there.. watch American football puas2. 
4 – Go and visit each continent, especially Europe
5 – Ada rezeki , kahwin !
6 – Become a cool husband and father ( related to no 6 )
7 – Read .. read ..read on stuff that interests me

Seven things I could do:
1 – start doing more instead of thinking aja
2 – Buy a car … finally ;-)
3 – Settle down .. hehehe
4 – Upgrade my wardrobe .. still in college mode ;-p
5 – Read more stuff ( esp history and management )
6 – Visit more muzeums / art galleries
7 – Pursue my creative interest .. drawing, acting

Seven celebrity crushes:
1 – Dian Sastro
2 – Alexis Bledel
3 – Preity Zinta
4 – Marisa Tomei
5 – Kirsten Dunst
6 – Larisa Oleynik
7 – Sharifah Amani

Seven often repeated words:
1 – Yeah baby
2 – What the f***
3 – Damn !
4 – Yo wassup
5 – What ?!
6 – Nahh ….
7 – You know what I'm saying ..

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex :
1 – A bit fair looking
2 – Chinese looking
3 – Sweet smile
4 - Lovely eyes
5 – Soft hands
6 – Medium size
7 - Cute

Seven tags go to:
1 – julia ( my sis )
2 - Inn
3 - Rafthah
4 - Rudy
5 -
6 -
7 -

.. to those who I tagged .. kalau dah buat, tak yah la buat lagi ye ...

Freaky Friday + ?

1)Freaky Friday

I saw Freaky Friday last Friday ( get it ? ;-p ). It was okay la .. I enjoyed it and would definitely recommend it to everyone for a nice viewing. It has an interesting story of how a mother and daughter switches places for one day. It is believable as the leads Jamie Lee Curtis ( mother ) and Lindsay Lohan ( daughter ) make a totally cool mother and daughter combo. Going through the tribulations of one day of switched identities, with new discoveries and appreciation for each other, and in the end, the main lesson is that in order to get along, both parties need to look from the other point of view.

Oh, screw it ;-) Lindsay Lohan is hot … ! Freckle face and all … she can play guitar for me anytime !

2)Why ?

What is it about the big L ? I posted a comment on this blog’s post … am reposting it here again below …

1) Sandman says ..

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." ~Neil Gaiman

2) Sean says

" Sean: You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.That's what intimacy is all about ..."

-good will hunting-



It occurred to me about this after breaking fast with my sis and her friends today at Chinoz KLCC ( good food, btw ). My sis kata my misconception abt the big L is simple … it is not about control … hmm, of course masa tu I was like blergh …. But on the way back, hmm… hmmm … hmmmm ……. Ada apa dengan cinta ya ? …

The song belows answers it a bit I guess …

Why - 3T with MJ-

(Chorus)
Why does Monday come after Tuesday
Why do summers start in June
Why do winters come too soon
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up, oh why

Why do I love you, tell me why

It's not like I can explain whats in my heart
It's just I feel a crazy pain with we're apart
I don't wanna breathe
I don't wanna think
I don't wanna love
I don't wanna do anything

It's not like I can't describe what's going on
It's just I feel I'm not alive when your not home
I don't wannna sleep
I don't wanna be
I just want you here beside me
Without you there's no me

(Chorus)

Why do we love if love will die

Why does Wednesday come after Tuesday
Why do flowers come in May
Why does springtime go away
Why do people fall in love
When they're always breaking up
Oh why

Why do I love you, tell me why

It's not like I can escape what's in my soul
Cuz with you inside my heart where can I go
I don't wanna see
No you without me
I can't go through life without you
Without you there's no me

(Chorus)

Why do we love if love will die?

Why do the rivers flow to the sea
Even if it flows
Why can't your love flow to me, babe
Why does my heart feel sadness
To be in love, to feel your love
Why don't I feel complete

(Chorus)

Why do I love you, tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why
Tell my why
Tell my why

.. ada apa dengan cinta ya ? ;-) ...

Monday, October 10, 2005

No More I Love U's

Greetings ..

I have been looking for the mp3 for this song amd I have found it at last. Interesting song as my thoughts are going along these lines .. maybe .. ;-) ..

No More I Love Yous – Annie Lennox --

I used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)

I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire,despair,desire,so many monsters
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)

No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word

They were being really crazy
They were on the come.
And you know what mammy?
Everybody was being really crazy.
Uh huh.
The monsters are crazy.
There are monsters outsides.

No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word

Outside the word


... ada apa dengan cinta ya ? ... ;-)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Mail n Puasa No 2

1) Mail

Yesterday, I saw You've Got Mail. The storyline of love through the internet, which is so relevant today. This movie was set during the days of dial up using American Online .. I used it a few times when I was in US, and wondered why it wasn't done here ... and the rest of you guys who have internet in your homes know how at times, troublesome internet in Malaysia ..but that's another matter.

A key success factor of this movie is the chemistry between the two leads, Tom n Meg. This was their 2nd movie together after Sleepless in Seattle .. it is nice tale of enemies in the real world, lovers online kind of thing. I would recommend it.. and of course, NYC is a nice place to fall in love.

One thing struck me though .. in the dvd extra, in an interview with the director, Nora Ephron .. she said that the kind of love shown in the movie is fantasy. Hmm, maybe she's right and I have been foolish all these years ..

2) Puasa No 2

Day No 2 has been okay. Have not suffered much. Agaknya, sbb dah biasa kan ... today, I had a chance to go up the KLCC .. at the skybridge and the 76th floor .. looking down at all that was going on .. I realized that I am now at a major crossroads of my life ... yep the crossroads where changes have to made .. and I mean major changes ...

You can't have everything .. there must be sacrifices ..

Selamat berbuka ..

Later.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Movies n Ramadan

Hello amigos ...

1) Saw these flicks these past few days ..

Must Love Dogs

Cerita ni okay lah .. so relevant as it touches on internet dating  .. I enjoyed but wouldn’t really put it as a must watch kind of flick .. probably kan because at times .. the chemistry between the leads ( Cusack and Lane ) was kind of forced at times,.. but it has some good one liners :-) and u have some free time..tgk la

50 First Dates

A classic Adam Sandler flick if you asked me. Actually, I like the idea,.. it is kind of hard but, you want to make the person love you every single day of her life. ;-) Watching it make me smile most of the times seeing Henry ( Sandler ) trying his best to woo Lucy ( Drew Barrymore ) with the help from his nutty cousin Ula ( Rob Scheider ).

And the music really helped

Notting Hill

Hugh Grant at his best :D and Julia Roberts. I would really recommend this flick to lovers of romantic comedies ;-) Good performances from both of them … and assisted by able support from the rest of the cast, especially William ( Grant )’s gila housemate.

Classic quote : “ I am just a girl .. asking a boy to love her .. “ … Awwwww


2) Ramadhan

Ramadhan will begin tonight, so I would like to wish my Muslim readers Selamat Beribadah in Ramadhan ;-) .. hope the Man will accept our ibadah during this Holy Month.

As I was biking back, I realized that I should count my blessings in many ways .. ya la, this is what normal people do kan ... but really, do I count my blessings ... I don't think I do that enough. I get a bit depressed when I think of what I dont have : A car, a house, loads of blings ...etc .. but then, look of what I have and accomplished so far .. then .... its get better.. and since one of Ramadhan's lessons is to count yr blessings .. so I will focus on my blessings from now on :-)Insya-Allah.

Ok lah .. later ... Selamat Berpuasa Hari Pertama !

ps/ I am working now at KLCC .. albeit until Raya ;-) ...

Monday, October 03, 2005

Posts2

I have not written for the past few days but fear not, masa tu pun my head was cranking out blog posts ;-) .. so at least, I know what I plan to write ..

1) Pre, Post, Epilogue

When you are in love with a woman, this song comes to my mind ...

When she tells you, ".. let's just be friends ... " .. the song below plays ...

I Guess She Never Loved Me - Jason Donovan -

She said she knew, but she never knew me
and when she looked, she was looking through me
and when she talked, I don’t know exactly
behind her smile, was she laughing at me
I guess it doesn’t matter anymore
How could she hold, but never hold me
feel, but never feel me
I guess she never loved me at all

She said she tried, but she never made it
The love just died, nothing would have saved it
I was so sure on the day we started
Now I’ll never know if it could have lasted
I guess it doesn’t matter anymore
How could she hold, but never hold me
feel, but never feel me
I guess she never loved me at all

I guess she never meant all those things
Maybe it’s just one of those things
I guess she was fooling me
I guess she was using me

Was she laughing, was she laughing
Was she laughing, was she laughing
Was she laughing, was she laughing
Was she laughing at me
Was she laughing, was she laughing
Was she laughing at me

I guess it doesn’t matter anymore
How could she hold, but never hold me
feel, but never feel me

I guess she never loved me at all
I guess she never loved me at all
I guess she never loved me at all
I guess she never loved me at all
I guess she never loved me at all


And during those lonely times, especially cold lonely rainy nights .. this song can make one break down and cry ..

2) Goodbye

A lady friend's fiance passed away recently ... it reminded me of when one of my college roommate passed away a few years ... there was a song I gave her.. for my lady friend and in rememberance of arwah R, this song is for them ....

One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey n Boyz II Men -


Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you. '
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

picture a little scene from heaven

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say


..more to write later ;-)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Tentang Dia

Petang tadi, semasa gue membuat kerja pejabat baru .. gue menonton filem ini .. yg bertajuk Tentang Dia.

Filem yang gue rasa harus ditontoni oleh mereka yg ingin, sedang atau telah bercinta... cewah ... ;-)

Sesiapa yg kecewa bercinta pasti tahu apa yg Gadis rasa, sesiapa yg berharap cinta dengan seseorang yg belum melihat cintanya, pasti faham Randu, sesiapa yg pernah kehilangan seseorang yg dicinta pasti faham Rudi.

Apa yang istimewa filem ini ya ? Bagi gue, ia adalah kombinasi apa yg tersurat dan apa yg tersirat. Mesej cinta memang diperkatakan dalam cerita ini, tetapi dengan scope yg lebih luas.. cinta antara sahabat, cinta yg dikhianat. cinta sejenis ?

Menonton cerita ini, penonton harus menghayati suasana filem ini untuk menikmatinya. Ia bukan filem 'popcorn' .. ia adalah cerita di mana moodnya juga penting.

Gue faham apa yg dilalui oleh Gadis. Terlalu melihat ke belakang, tragedi cintanya dikhianati sehingga hidupnya murung akibat peristiwa itu. Tidak salah Gadis berperasaan begitu, tetapi beliau nggak mahu bangkit walaupun Randu, sahabat baik Gadis, bersungguh2 mahu menolongnya. Kedatangan Rudi, si gadis pelayan kedai makan, ke dalam hidup Gadis menceriakan kembali Gadis .. Gadis mampu tersenyum. Randu cemburu ttg perubahan Gadis .. siapakah Rudi ? ... Gadis pula tertanya2 ..apakah perasaan Rudi terhadapnya ? ... bagaimanakah semuanya berakhir ? .. lihat sendiri ya .. ;-)

Gue rekomen filem ini pada anda semua ..

Situs rasmi Tentang Dia di sini.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Cite2 Wayang Lagi

I saw Dark Water. One word – creepy. Luckily, I had my PDA to play with during the creepy times ;-) ..no I don’t watch horror flicks .. tapi kawan ajak .. tipah tertipu !!

As requested by a blogger … a short review of The Sisterhood Of Travelling Pants

The story is pretty simple.. 4 best 16 yr old girlfriends are going off separate ways for the summer. Before going off, they managed to find a pair of jeans that somehow fit all four of them., in a thrift shop. They agreed to share it among themselves during the vacation. Sound simple kan ? well, actually, there are four stories in this movie with a common thread holding them., the pair of jeans which in my mind , represent the close friendship between ‘em. The stories show they kind of like growing up .. each in their own ways, yet through it all, they still remain close to each other.

Bridget, Lena, Tibby and Carmen and a pair of pants had a magical summer and in the end, turned out better for it ;-)

It is a sweet, growing up, coming of age flick which I would recommend.

This flick was based on this book series. And the movie’s storyline is based on book one.

Ps / I wonder why here in Malaysian tv, there is not something like this. Kalau ada, maybe I have not seen them perhaps.

I also saw these flicks in the past few days

Sin City

If you like comics and can stand some graphic violence, this movie is for you ;-) .. the cool thing abt this movie is its use of colors. Mostly black and white, but certain scenes and ppl have colors. And the stories are pretty good and amazing. But the violence, I am telling ya … be prepared.

The story of the residents of Sin City and how they interlock. Good cop, bad cop, kick ass prostitutes, sick Cardinal, cannibalistic Frodo, paedophile sicko…. And some more. Yep, the story has it all.

Totally recommended.

Based on Frank Miller’s comic series of the same title.

Jersey Girl

Hmm…this is sweet father and girl bonding movie… yeah, Ben Affleck plays the father. I like one phrase in this movie … “ .. forget who you were and just accept who you are … “ In a way, this movie emphasizes “ Hujan Emas di Negeri Orang, Hujan Batu di Negeri Sendiri “ ..

It is not a major blockbuster .. but, ok la ..for some leisure viewing.

Collateral

Actually, I didn’t know what was the big deal about this movie, until I watched it. Oh yeah, the two main guys in the movie gave incredible performances. Tom Cruise as the Vincent the assassin, Jamie Foxx as the cab driver. The cab driver who nak tak nak drives him around for him to do his killing jobs. It is engrossing to watch, how they interplay with one another. And discuss life matters … would not want to spoil the ending, but this is definitely recommended.

I think Cruise should play a bad guy once a while.. definitely he acts better as one ;-) ..


Ok la .. later amigos. Don’t forget to watch them flicks and make your DVD seller happy. Malaysia Boleh !!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Jom Tgk Wayang

I have been watching a few flicks in the cinema for the past two weeks , so well here are my reviews of the ones yg I watched ;-)

1) Janji Joni

This is an Indonesian flick which is quite interesting. ;-) .. the premise is simply a day of the life of a film delivery guy. In trying to impress a lady ( Mariana Renata ) he met at a cinema, he tries to deliver his film on time, so that he can get her name. OK la .. sounds cheesy eh .. but that what goes in his quest is worth watching. This movie plays tribute to moviemaking and has a few subtle messages in it, related to filmmaking and society. It is a light breezy kind of flick and Nicholas Saputra does a good job as Joni. Watch it and see whether Joni fulfills his promise ;-) Recommended.

2) Herbie Fully Loaded

Ok Ok .. so sue me that I watched this because of Lindsay Lohan ;-p .. well, she stars in this movie. And I still like her as a redhead rather than blond ;-p .. the movie is another story .. the return of Herbie, the VW Bug ... it was fun and entertaining .. especially if you know a bit on NASCAR. But, overall, this movie is for me, tengok sekali dah cukup. The antics of Herbie is okay la ... so get the DVD if you like Lindsay Lohan

3) Salaam Namaste

I like Hindi movies, but not all la. My main criteria for a good Hindi movie is simple - Movie and Songs must be good. If one is lacking than the other then .. sayang la. This movie stars Saif Ali Khan and Preity Zinta ( rawrr ) ;-) .. about a couple who lives together ( mula2 separate rooms then ... ) and falls in love. Your typical Bollywood flick. ;-) Set in Melbourne. The leads got chemistry, the story is okay, the songs are okay ( only 3 !! ) I enjoyed watching this flick and would recommend it to anyone who likes Hindi to watch this movie.

The one thing that hit me though was the character of Nikhil ( " My name is Nick " ) .. his beliefs in the movie used to reflect mine in a way .. about marriage and kids .. like I said, used to .. so I kind of understood when his character does a u-turn in the end of the flick about this matter. When you have found that someone, your perspective changes ... ;-)

Other links on the movie -
One
Two

4) KL Menjerit 1

Aku mengaku yg aku menonton filem tempatan yg diputarkan di cineplex. Bukan semua tetapi filem2 yg ada konsep dan cerita yang menarik. ( Nota : Aku tak nak tgk cerita Yusof Haslam atau Prof XXXX lagi, unless org belanja. Tobat ! ) Cerita ni aku tengok sebab aku dah tengok filem yg sebelum , KL Menjerit. Yang ni pula adalah prequel pada filem yang lepas.

Pertama, tabik kepada pengarahnya, Bade kerana membuat filem2 yang berbeza daripada filem2 Melayu biasa. Filem2 KL Menjerit ni berkisarkan kisah mat2 rempit di KL. Tak ramai org buat filem ttg golongan ini.

Kedua, filem ni menghiburkan, walaupun aku lebih suka pada KL Menjerit yg pertama. Aksi lumba-lumba motor haram yg menarik, trauma Khatijah yg realistik dan jalan cerita yang menarik.

Ketiga, pelakon2 utama semua ok .. ( tak over2 la ).. tapi watak Apek tu, kalau tak ada pun .. tak penting, but dia mesti muncul sbb dia muncul in the previous KL Menjerit.

Mula2, selepas filem ni tamat, saya fikir "?" .. tetapi, fikir2 balik, filem ni kira okay lah .. ;-) oh ye, lebih bagus kalau anda dapat tgk KL Menjerit yg pertama, sebab ada rujukan filem pertama dalam filem ini.

Pada peminat filem tempatan, cerita ni selamat untuk anda tontoni ;-) .. gerenti tak membodohkan anda.

1) & 2 ) watched at 1 Utama
3) & 4 ) watched at Sunway Pyramid

Monday, September 19, 2005

Goodbye

1) Goodbye

Thursday afternoon 4 pm - a baby girl is born to a couple, their firstborn
Friday morning 4 am - baby transferred to ICU and put on full machine support
Saturday evening 9 pm - baby passes away
Sunday morning - funeral of the baby

I knew the couple when they were courting. I went to their wedding. Met them a few times she was carrying the baby. No wonder the couple were subdued when I met them once I heard of the news of the birth. I told the hubby to keep his head up and hope everything works out.

Sunday morning I got the news. Met the hubby n wife. The hubby was okay about it and the wife ... I didn't ask much. I wonder what goes in her mind. I did say to the hubby that he needs to support the wife during this time. But I think he already knows that.

Al Fatihah to the daughter of M&M. Amin.

" Dari Dia kita datang dan kepada Dia kita kembali "